Domestic violence affects millions, often in ways that go unseen by the outside world. Behind closed doors, many people live in constant fear, trapped in cycles of control, manipulation and abuse. It’s not just physical harm but also extreme emotional toll that leaves lasting damage. Despite its widespread impact, domestic violence remains a largely hidden crisis, often misunderstood or ignored. Addressing it means confronting uncomfortable truths and acknowledging the reality that this issue touches more lives than we realize. It’s time to bring this conversation out of the shadows.
According to a report by the United Nations, in 2017 over 500,000 women were killed by an intimate partner or a family member worldwide. Nearly 10 million men and women become victims of domestic violence every year, and just about every minute 20 people are being physically abused by an intimate partner just in the United States.
Who are most often victims of domestic violence? According to the APA, victims most often have these traits: less educated, young adult or adolescent, female, living in a high poverty neighborhood, have low income and dependency on drugs and alcohol; however, it can and does happen to all kinds of people.
It is important for teens to know about domestic violence and the dangers surrounding it. According to Domestic Violence National Hotline, some red flags to look out for in a relationship are the following: possessiveness, being controlling, talking to you in a demeaning way, acting differently around you and other people, pressuring you to use drugs or alcohol and blaming you for everything.
San Domenico School counselor, Laura Schulkin-Parnell, works with students dealing with mental health issues, relationship issues and much more. Working in conjunction with families and outside therapists, Schulkin-Parnell is the woman to talk to when in need.
Schulkin-Parnell describes domestic violence as a cycle.
“You can have an incident, where tension is building and then something happens, explodes. And then there’s the makeup time, and then the honeymoon right period, and then conflict builds again,” Schulkin-Parnell said. “This [cycle] will always lead back to pain.”
She explains that students experiencing domestic violence often become withdrawn and isolated. This isolation typically stems from the abuser’s efforts to hide the reality of the abuse, keeping the victim from forming close connections. By cutting off these relationships, it becomes more difficult for the victim to reach out for help.
Additionally, domestic violence victims tend to struggle with low self-esteem and impulsive behaviors. It is important that victims are able to open up to get help.
“It takes a lot of talking,” Schulkin-Parnell said, “to get to the answers of what’s really happening.”
Domestic violence can be such a personal topic. For many people it is a place of shame. It’s important that if you are aware of domestic violence in the lives of a friend or peer you need to tell someone.
“Please don’t keep a secret,” Schulkin-Parnell said. “Find someone that you trust.”
Why isn’t domestic violence discussed more openly? There are a few reasons. First, many individuals don’t feel comfortable sharing their experiences. Second, as a society, we have yet to fully acknowledge it as a serious and pressing issue. Society often struggles to confront its flaws, especially when they’re as widespread as domestic violence.
A big part of addressing domestic violence is teaching kids about it early on. By educating teens about what healthy relationships look like, setting boundaries, and recognizing the warning signs of abuse, we can help them avoid dangerous situations. If schools included domestic violence education in the curriculum, it could break down the stigma and encourage more people to speak up. Learning about the issue would also help teens support friends or peers who may be going through it. Without this knowledge, many young people are left vulnerable. Educating them gives the next generation the tools to break the cycle.
Domestic violence is a silent epidemic that affects millions, often leaving scars that are unseen yet deeply felt. For too long, the issue has been pushed aside, hidden behind closed doors and ignored by a society uncomfortable with confronting its own flaws. However, change begins with awareness. By starting the conversation, educating ourselves and others, and supporting those in need, we can break the cycle of abuse. No one should have to suffer in silence. It’s time to bring domestic violence into the light and ensure that every voice is heard, every victim is seen, and every life is valued.
