What exactly is a situationship? According to Dictionary.com, people in a situationship are more than friends but less than committed romantic partners. But should we really trust what Dictionary.com says? Let’s find out what San Domenico students think.
Urban Dictionary describes a situationship as “let’s just chill, hook up, and be confused about the fact that we are not together but have official emotions for each other.” In other words, it’s that confusing in-between state where you’re talking to someone, hanging out, maybe even hooking up, but without the label of “dating.” And according to some students who answered an anonymous survey, these gray-area relationships often last an uncomfortably long time.
A Psychology Today study showed that satisfaction and commitment were significantly lower for those in situationships compared to romantic relationships.
One San Domenico student summed it up best: “A situationship is a ‘no-strings-attached’ relationship, but literally every string is attached.”
While situationships may seem casual, they can come with significant emotional baggage. The hit TV show Sex and the City depicts protagonist Carrie Bradshaw struggling with the burdens of a situationship with the seemingly unaffected Mr. Big. As Bradshaw grappled with her emotions, the man she was head over heels for didn’t seem to care nearly as much. While it makes for entertaining television, living that reality can be much harsher.
“I felt unwanted,” one freshman girl at San Domenico admitted. “It deprived me of the trust I desired in another person and led me to believe I was doing something wrong to evoke the non-commitment.”
Situationships can be very confusing, often reflecting deeper gender norms and expectations. San Domenico math teacher Lydia Winkeller weighed in on the double standard.
“Guys are macho if they have sex with a lot of people or date a lot of people,” Winkeller said. “Girls are slutty if they do it. That’s been the case since the beginning of time.”
According to a National Library of Medicine study, a greater number of sexual partners is positively correlated with boys’ peer acceptance but negatively correlated with girls’ peer acceptance. This culture is highlighted through situationships, where men often struggle with commitment.
San Domenico English teacher Dirk Weiss noted that the fear of commitment among men is nothing new.
“Magazines would have a title like ‘Commit? Why Are Men Afraid to Love?’” Weiss said. “That’s been going on for decades.”
Is a situationship right for you?
Love and emotional investment look different for everyone.
So what do you do if you find yourself in a situationship? The answer depends on your own preferences and relationship standards. For some, a situationship might be the perfect low-pressure dynamic.
“It’s great. You don’t gotta be tied down,” one San Domenico student said.
For others, it could be an emotionally exhausting limbo. Either way, understanding where you stand—and what you want—are key to navigating any romantic entanglement.
